10th June 2010

Post with 5 notes

I miss you Jake

Although I don’t think you’ll ever see this post…

This is Ray. I noticed that you don’t use our date anymore as your password. You’re taking the steps to adapt to the change, and I’m glad… But I can’t help but miss you. I wonder what you’re up to. I wonder where you are. I wonder how you’re feeling. And all of this used to be something I could easily find out for myself: I could call you and you would answer. But you’re gone now. Gone out of my life. At least for the mean time; and I can’t seem to help but feel as if I’ll never see you the same when you come back. Your situation is no different than that of the military man: coming home from war, experience, and being alone, changes him into a completely different person. You’ll come home, but only after going through all of that change. And I don’t know how I’m going to react to that. Maybe you’ll start talking to someone else, maybe you’ll start dating someone else, maybe you’ll take up smoking, maybe you’ll take up partying and drinking. Maybe you won’t be my bubba anymore. And it’s because you won’t be the same that is breaking my heart. I wish we could have been the same again. And if not, I wish we could have ended our love on a good note.

I just wanted you to know that my arms will be open wider than ever when you get back. I’ll be ready for anything you throw at me. And I’ll always protect you if you need me.

Just because our love is over, doesn’t mean our love to care and protect each other has to diminish either.

I love you,

Ray.